April Amusement

April Amusement

Jessica Elie, Humor Columnist

Did you hear about the guy who swapped the labels on the gas station pumps? It was an April Fuels joke!

April is quite the jokester month. To kick it off, we have a worldwide prank war. Then, Christians celebrate Jesus’s most famous prank, where he pretended to be dead for 3 days. He was really dedicated to that one. The month of April itself even tricks us by claiming to be spring and then giving 30 degree weather. What a funny prank… Anyway, to celebrate this trickster of a month, here are some news stories that are so outlandish that they seem like they must be fake. (I promise they’re true, though. As far as I know, at least.) Without further ado, here are some crazy April stories. Will they amaze you? They sure Apr-will! (Okay, that pun was a bit of a stretch.)

Yesterday, April 3, a seal was spotted traveling through a town on Long Island. It’s unclear where it came from or how it got there, but what we do know is that it was adorable. The seal didn’t seem to be in any distress, but instead was just going for a nice morning stroll. When it was seen by residents, the seal was chilling in the parking lot of a beverage store, no doubt there to get a drink after all of that exercise. I feel like this seal can be an inspiration to people. If a wild animal can get up at 6am to get those steps in, so can you. 

In Germany, a 60-year-old man got a few too many COVID-19 shots. How many, you ask? Oh, only about 90. That’s right, he got vaccinated for the virus close to 90 times! This man is starting to sound like someone from a math problem: “If the German man gets 90 shots and each shot is worth 80% immunity, how long will it take before the man develops godlike powers?” Now, I feel like I should make it clear that nobody under any circumstances should be getting that many shots. He voluntarily got injected with far too many doses in order to obtain vaccine cards that he could alter and sell to people who didn’t want the vaccine. This is an awful thing to do and it could be extremely dangerous for this man. That said, I wonder if he’ll become so immune that COVID will die just from looking at him. Maybe coronavirus doesn’t infect him, he infects coronavirus. Food for thought. 

I hope you enjoyed these funny stories! They made me laugh and hopefully they brightened up your day a bit too!