New Year, New Funny Stories

New Year, New Funny Stories

Jessica Elie, Humor Columnist

Did you hear about the guy who started making breakfast at midnight on December 31? He wanted to make a New Year’s toast! 

It’s a New Year! We’ve successfully completed another revolution around the sun. Cue the confetti! A New Year can be a time for new beginnings. It can also be a time for constantly forgetting to write 22 on the date instead of 21. Whatever the New Year brings, one thing is for sure: there will still be hilarious new stories to laugh at. Here are a couple New Year’s stories that gave me a good chuckle, and I hope you’ll like them too! 

One of the main defining features of twins is that they share a birthday. However, a woman in California recently gave birth to twins who do not. Not only that, but they weren’t even born the same year! One twin was born at 11:45 on New Year’s Eve, while the other was born almost exactly at midnight on January 1. The two kids weren’t born the same day, month, or year. There is apparently only a 1 in 2 million chance of this! Regardless of their different birthdays, though, I’m sure the mom will still find a way to give them a joint birthday party each year. 

Unfortunately, I could not find any other funny stories about this past New Year’s. The news sites are mostly reporting about Omicron outbreaks and how to stay healthy. The lack of funny news stories is definitely the biggest downside to the pandemic. I’m joking, of course. Having fewer amusing stories is obviously not the biggest downside of the pandemic… but it’s definitely in the top 5. Anyway, here’s a miscellaneous story that has nothing whatsoever to do with the new year, other than that it occurred in 2022. Enjoy!

A few days ago, a woman got married to her true love in Las Vegas. At first this may seem like a heartwarming story, but it becomes questionable when you find out that her new spouse is the color pink! Kitten Kay Sera adores the color so much that she decided she needed to spend the rest of her life with it. There have no doubt been a myriad of unique weddings in Las Vegas, but this may be the strangest. Sera held a color swatch with three shades of pink and exclaimed, “I do,” as the crowd of guests, all wearing pink, cheered. However, they are unfortunately not legally married, as I’m fairly certain that the pink paint chip did not say “I do” back. 

Hopefully you enjoyed these stories!